To Africa and Back

It feels so strange to be back in the United States. We were only gone 8 days, but in those 8 short days my whole life changed. There is so much to share and I will try to do it in a few days. I feel like I am still processing it all. We have traveled almost 16,000 miles in 8 days and spent  about 60 hours traveling and I would do it again tomorrow.

 My heart is overflowing with love for my son. Africa was like nothing I have ever experienced. Meeting my son for the first time felt so natural. Derek and I agreed that we felt as if we were born to be his parents. I am in awe that God has chosen us to parent this amazing child. He is so sweet and full of giggles and jibber jabber. He is a fighter already. This little boy has overcome many obstacles in his first year of life. He is an absolute miracle to us.

Yet my heart is also crushed because there is another sweet boy we could not also meet, hold, kiss, or become official parents to. At least not yet. We pray for a resolution for children from orphanages that have been closed. Such a bittersweet week in many ways.

And my heart is saddened because after loving my son from afar for 7 months and then in person for 6 days we had to leave him to come home. This part seems so unnatural. We now must wait to be submitted to the US Embassy so that he can be cleared to travel home. This could take many weeks/months. The timeline is very vague and this is hard. Yet we have seen God's hand throughout this process and we know yet again that we must trust in His timing. No matter how difficult this process has been at times, it has been the best experience of my life. It isn't easy, but looking into the face of this precious baby boy I know he is worth every second of this journey.

I will share more throughout the coming weeks about our sweet Silas, our time in Africa, the people we met, and our experience as parents. For now I treasure these pictures of our time with our son.

Leaving Soon

This week we will leave for Ethiopia, Africa.

I have had my bags packed,except for the usual last minute items, for almost 2 weeks.

I have worked on documents to take and hope I have notarized my last item for a long time.

Derek and I have never packed so light for ourselves on any trip ever. Our clothes are combined into one suitcase for a whole week and we have one suitcase entirely devoted to baby essentials. This makes my heart happy.

I keep trying to think of what that moment will be like when we get to meet sweet Silas for the first time. I keep wondering how Derek or I will react. We are bringing a video camera so I hope to be able to get such a precious moment on film.

It still looks unlikely that we will be able to visit Judah due to the adoption cases of children from closed orphanages being on hold. I keep wondering how that will feel to be on the same continent as him and to not be able to meet him or hold him.

I am praying we will pass our court date with all paperwork necessary to be there.

There are a lot of BIG things going on and I know God is at work.
It is a weird feeling though, knowing that everything I know now is about to change. But, it is so good. This change is good and we are ready for it.
This has been a long process (to us) and it still isn't over. There are many details left to finish everything, but I am leaving it totally in God's hands. I find great peace in knowing He is in control because I certainly don't know what is going on at times.
In our church service today the pastor said something that stuck with me. He asked if we trusted God enough to know that even if we couldn't see his hand in everything, we knew to trust His heart.   I know his purposes are greater than mine even if I can not see it at the time. I am learning to trust like never before.
I hope to be able to update and blog throughout our trip (depending on internet available and perhaps share a few pictures of at least one pretty cute little boy).

Just About 3 Weeks Left

I am praying now that the time goes as quickly between trip 1 and 2 to Ethiopia as it has since August 16th when we found out our court date to now! At the time I felt like it would be forever until we were able to leave for Ethiopia. Now it is a mere 22 days away. I feel like my "to-do" list gets longer and my time is becoming much more limited. Vaccinations, packing, sub plans, court documents to finish and get approved, getting them notarized, taking our dog to my parents, etc...and all this on top of regular, busy life. 

This will be trip 1 of 2 trips for us (well, if not more).  This will be our Ethiopian court appointment and the first time we get to meet our children. Our second trip will be about 8-10 weeks later....maybe longer (hopefully not). As I had posted before, one of our referral's (Judah) orphanage was closed a few months ago. To make a really long story short and to be sensitive to many issues at hand, there will have to be a review of all cases of children who were from orphanages closed to determine whether they can still be adopted. Because of this we do not know what will happen with his case and most likely, if we can proceed with his adoption, it will have to be processed at a later date. At this point too, because of the government issues we are unsure if we will even be able to visit sweet baby Judah. This is a hard reality to face.

We are so excited to meet Silas who is such a sweet miracle to us. He has already overcome so many obstacles in his short life and we are amazed at God's work through this little boy. He has grown and gotten so chubby! I absolutely can not wait to hold him! It does make this trip a little bittersweet. It is so hard to think that we will be in this country and yet we probably won't be able to visit with the other sweet baby we have been dreaming of as our own for months now. We have been preparing for two and may only meet 1.

I am asking for prayers as I have never been through anything comparable to this my whole life. I am not sure I even know how to comprehend it all. I know the Lord has been with me through this time of waiting and uncertainty and I am praying for the continueed peace He has given me. I am praying we can see baby Judah and that by some miracle we can go ahead and have our court case for him along with Silas. I am praying that we will PASS our court date for one or both boys, because if certain government documents are not ready then our delays in bringing our children home will be longer. I am praying for strength because I know that getting on that plane to come back to the US without either of them is going to break my heart. I am praying God will bless us with peace and comfort in knowing He is at work for the good. 

Adoption Support Group

One of the many blessings of this adoption journey has been the many families we have been able to connect with. When we first decided to look into adoption we knew very little. But OCA hosted a seminar at our church. We felt led to go and knew immediately afterward that this was definitely something we were ready for. We attended seminars that focused on adoption: both international and domestic; and we met others who had already walked this path. We figured out quickly that having that type of support is necessary during this process.

Throughout our adoption we have been blessed to be a part of OCA.  They have provided us with educational  opportunities to enhance our understanding of adoption and the gospel. We have also been provided with financial assistance through a matching grant which has helped to cover some of the financial aspects of our adoption fees. Now we are so excited to be able to be a part of OCA's new support group Connect. This group is open to all families who are thinking about adoption, in the process of adopting, or are now home with their children! It is a great opportunity to connect, share resources, information, and provide support for others who also feel the burden for the fatherless of this world. If you are interested, the event will be held monthly and will start on October 10th at Calvary Christian Center located at 10710 Taylorsville Road, Louisville, KY 40299.  

If you are interested in adoption at all, I pray you will look into this opportunity. When we finally decided to open our hearts to this amazing opportunity our hearts were forever changed.

Today I am dreaming of...

holding these children for the first time...
being able to kiss their foreheads,
and comb through their hair.

I dream of changing a diaper,
holding a bottle,
and singing a lullaby.

I dream of getting on an airplane, getting in a car, and driving down an unknown road in an unfamiliar land to meet the babies I feel like I already know in my heart. I know I have never been so excited to travel for 2 days straight without showering or sleeping in a bed. I don't care how uncomfortable I may be...All I want is to be in Africa.

I pray I can be all I need to be for them. I know tomorrow will be exactly 6 weeks until we leave. I am so excited and I fear that my excitement wil make the days move slower. Oh how I am so ready to meet them. I am trying to prepare myself for Ethiopia. I know it will change me forever. I know that my experiences there will shape my future.

50 days or 7 weeks

It is 50 days until we leave for Ethiopia or 7 weeks until Ethiopia. It seems so long but I have already had a lot to do in order to prepare for this trip. We have booked flights and our stay at a guest house in Ethiopia. I am working on packing lists (as there are quite of unusual things to think about when traveling to Africa) and getting baby stuff ready so we can care for our kids some while we are there.  We have some paperwork to prepare for our trip as well and I am trying to settle things for work. I even went last week to the Little Treasure's Consignment sale and bought some cute clothes for these sweet boys.

I guess this is sort of like nesting. I can't help it, I am just so excited about this trip. At the same time I am trying to remember that this ride has been bumpy and to be prepared for changes if they were to come about. But just thinking about what those moments will be like to finally see the faces I have stared at daily in pictures gives me chills and makes me teary eyed. I just love them so much. There are still some issues that need to be resolved for Judah due to his orphanage that was closed. I am just praying that all will be taken care of and that our court date will be for both of these boys.

Blessings-Silas

A little over 3 months ago we received our referrals for our boys. We were so thrilled on April 9th, when we first saw little Judah at 2 months...he looked so healthy and happy. He was already smiling and we felt so good looking at pictures of such a happy baby. Three days later on April 12th we received our referral for Silas. At an estimated 6 months old, he was barely 9 pounds. His picture did not portray characteristics like the healthy baby boy we had seen just days prior. We honestly didn't know how to react. We loved them both instantly, but we were so concerned for Silas. We knew malnourishment was a problem in Ethiopia but we still weren't prepared for what we saw. He was so tiny and his little body just looked so weak. He did not smile at all. In the video we received he showed some other physical concerns as a result of his malnutrition. He was taken to a doctor and had some scans done. Thankfully everything came back clear, but those days of wondering were scary. We felt so helpless. Thankfully in the coming weeks he was able to get proper care to help him gain the weight he needed to.

I had been checking every month with my agency to find out how much weight Silas had gained. As of late June, I knew he had gained almost 9 full pounds....doubling his body weight. I knew this was amazing, but it was nothing compared to seeing Silas' amazing transformation in his latest pictures from this month. 

I am proud to say this boy has some fat rolls now!! Praise the Lord!

I will say it again, I have been blown away to see God at work through this process. When we first saw this sweet baby who was so malnourished, we didn't expect to see such a happy, smiling, chunky baby boy only a few short months later. This is nothing short of a miracle. Even his little fingers are chubby! 

I just can't wait to hold these babies in October! And I can't wait to be able to show their sweet faces!